35 hours have passed since I took Iboga in a ceremony. What happened in the next 24 hours after, I have never seen and experienced before. It was unimaginable!
Honestly, I got really scared, when Oswaldo, a Brazilian shaman in his 60ies, took the Iboga 30 minutes before me and started to puke and breathe heavily. He said things like “Oh my god, what is this?”
I started to feel my hands getting sweaty. Strange sounds appeared. Step by step, they got louder and louder. It was dark in the room. Oswaldo and I each had a matrace on the floor. Between us there was a little forest of plants. Our places were prepared with comfy beddings, buckets, water bottles and tissues. There was a third matrace in the room, where Della had her overview. She was our spaceholder, guide and servant for our trip. We trusted her completely. I was suggested to take the highest dosage, and I was fine with it.
My head was cool. When I heard Oswaldo purging his soul out, I tried to calm myself down. Then I felt something coming from underneath. The floor started to shake. The sounds become deafeningly loud. An earthquake? There was a big black hole under me. Like someone pressed a button, heat appeared, a strong wind, a hurricane, a volcanic outburst, the hot breath of mother earth. I was standing in this big black space. There were 100.000 symmetrically attached notes, like little letters or datastores, story keepers, memories. The massive amount of little papers on the huge black walls of my mind were stunning. I was wondering what’s stored in one of them, so I investigated. I saw some stories of my past. I zoomed in and out quickly, because something was coming.
So quickly, the hot African wind came. From one second to the other, it was hot, windy and lout. it felt like I was standing in an extremely wild and hot bubble bath. The heat of the wind started to burn away the little letters with my memories. I was watching for a while. A cleaning program was started and it did its job. A second hole above me opened up. The same kind of wind came from above. This hot wind also started to burn away the little lights that were hanging from the walls. And I was watching, as my mind got grinded and disassembled many times. The wind became red and I was floating for a while in that red space of forceful love. It reminded me of the situation that people are in these TV shows, where they are trying to collect paper money in wind turbine rooms. In this first hour, it was only about accepting what happens and sometimes looking at pictures for some understanding. I have done lots of astral journeys. Going into other worlds and coming back out again. After around three hours, I had to let all my memories about this behind me. Too much had happened. Too many details to keep aware during travelling forward into this huge cosmos of consciousness. Too much was just to come. So I put a box of memories somewhere in the space, to pick it up later, when I pass by next time.
For now, I entered phase two. I was flowing in this black space. Little white pictures were passing by at an extreme speed, coming from somewhere above, like thousands of shooting stars. I entered one and had an emotional situation to face. I was floating in a dark room, alone, feeling lonely for a while. I expected this feeling. My mind got twisted. I opened my eyes and the astral vision was gone. The room looked different too. I had to puke from the deepest of my belly. It was not uncomfortable. I was the unnecessary information of my past burn away, while cleaning out my belly. Soon it was empty and I drank some water. I puked again and felt good to lie down again. Being comfortable on my pillow, I closed my eyes. Immediately, I was flying in space again. A lot of pictures came again and I entered the next one. Another emotional situation came up. I could observe it. By the end of the vision process, I opened my eyes and started puking again. I saw and heard this big machine called my body and mind. Little lifeforms transported information inside of me. They are working for me, making sounds, the sounds of my inner factory. My language, the words in letters, are my thoughts. Words disappeared. The supercomputer doesn’t need words to process data and information. I could fly in all directions. I saw a pregnant woman floating with a newborn child, still connected by the umbilical cord. I saw the moment it was cut. Then I saw myself being born again. A newly formulated quantum computer. The result of the mind. Again and again, I was reborn. The umbilical cord was cut again and again. I opened my eyes and decided not to puke this time. I needed to pee.
I was trained for a lifetime in walking in extreme psychedelic states of mind. I really enjoyed the different perception of the rooms, lights and my body. Standing up was like moving on a ship during high waves or in a carousel. I loved it! Della had not too many difficulties to get me to the toilet. After three hours I was confident to compare Iboga with other substances I travelled with. I saw lots of similarities. I met Peyote, Ayahuasca, mushrooms, Woodrose, Salvia, Kambo, Changa and many more. They are all part of my journey, all part of the Iboga-cleansing, all the healing spirits.
Nine hours after taking the Iboga, I came into phase 3. It was not necessary anymore to ask for help when I wanted to walk. The pictures stopped or slowed down. My head was flooded with white light. It felt like my pineal gland was more active than ever before. Sleeping was not possible. I don’t know how long phase 3 will last. It is less than a week ago and I’m still activated and calm at the same time. Emotions came up and I understood the connections of my behaviour, my patterns and problems. I’m planning to change from where I am now. Still in phase 3, sleeping is possible again. Something has changed.
My mother came for a visit today. She appeared in some of my emotionally loaded stories which came up during Iboga phase 2. During her visit I saw a change in our relationship. Iboga changed me. In the dream journey and visions, I understood her pain. It’s much easier now to deal with her. More and more I understand how important my state of mind is in order to deal with the difficulties with my parents. Since the hot wind has cleaned my soul and my spine, my chronic back pain is gone. There was only one kind of open-eye vision like on Iboga that I experienced before. That was after a Kambo session, where we used the fresh sweat of a frog, directly from the frog onto my skin.
In phase 3, lots of emotions and thoughts came up, also some erotic stuff. I am still enjoying the experience. The process continues. I hope you will go for it, if you are ready. The reason I took Iboga is that I have a 17 year old friend, who is highly addicted to morphine and opiates. I had to try it out, as Iboga is known to heal addictions. I wanted to find out if I can recommend it to him. And I will do it. Another reason is that I wanted to clean the emotional load from my own past. I wanted to know the reasons for my own addictive behavior for tobacco. I feel much calmer inside, but I’m still smoking. The third reason is that I wanted to connect to the African healing spirit. Since my teacher and friend has served as a healer for three years in Burkina Faso in West Africa. In a way, the spirits of this area in West Africa have been already inspiring my life through my teacher’s practice.
I hope you come to Europe soon and drop by at my place. Otherwise, we will meet on the way.
Good luck, all the best
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